A Sexual Addict’s Prayer for His Wife
Father God,
l am not where I want to be.
I've always longed to be able to respect myself and to have a deep, loving relationship with my wife. I want to live a life I can be proud of.
But I am failing. I am hurting my wife, l am disrespecting myself, and though I don't often feel the full weight of it, I am sinning against You.
I didn't want any of this, but I feel helpless to fix it after years of trying and failing. I realize now that it's impossible for me to be free apart from You.
I acknowledge that any ideas I have right now about how to love You, love my wife, or respect myself are so tainted by my sin-filled mind that I cannot trust myself. Please be purifying my heart and mind with each step I take toward living in honesty and integrity.
Please give wisdom and courage to my wife and those around me to guide me toward freedom and give me the humility to follow their counsel regardless of whether I agree.
God, please use this difficult time to refine me into a man I can respect and shape me into the kind of husband you've called me to be. Help me to fall in love with You.
Father, it was NEVER my intention to let harm befall my wife, much less to be the instigator of such pain. You have called me to love and protect my wife. In this time, I beg you to be healing her and protecting her. Surround her with your people and help her to feel your love and support through them, especially in this season where she feels little from me.
You know I love her deeply, and though I have sinned against her countless times, would you please help her to see my heart, and to feel my love for her.
I am desperate for you Lord. I cannot save myself, my wife, nor my marriage apart from you. Please save me from myself and draw me close to you so I can be more like you.
I have nothing left. On my own, I only fall deeper into sin and shame. With You, all things are possible. I therefore cast myself and my marriage upon your mercy and give you in advance all glory and honor for any healing and sobriety I will experience moving forward.
I want to be done living in the shadows. Done living in shame. Done idolizing myself and my own pleasures.
God, please be breaking my heart for what breaks Yours and redeem my life for Your glory.
May the hurt my actions have inflicted pale in comparison to the good and healing work You will do through the testimony of Your power and faithfulness in my life.
Amen.
